Stressed from all the pretending that you do at the office?  Forget medicating, all you need is some liberating pressure on your skull. At least, that’s what Kinatech is thinking with the new Headtime Scalp Massager, a huge, head-crowning bowl that looks like it’s raring to fry your brains.
Looking like a mad scientist’s torture device, the stress-busting contraption doesn’t do any of those scary things you’re probably thinking. Steal your memory? Nah. Implant evil designs in your brain? Don’t sweat it. Short-circuit and electrocute you? Mmm…that’s actually a possibility.
The Headtime Scalp Massager is an oversized helmet that comes with a fully-functional mechanical massaging system. Sporting 29 silicon acupressure fittings and 34 ceramic balls, it supposedly delivers a level of relief that’s “no less effective than a massage with the hands.” Providing more than just kneading and poking, it comes with integrated speakers that spew soothing nature sounds, onboard temperature controls to cool your hot head and relaxing LED lights to set the mood just right.
Dealing with a tense situation to the point that you’re getting a bad headache? Just put the big rig on your head and let it bring you to a more calming frame of mind. If wearing it isn’t enough, gaze at yourself in front of a mirror. They say laughter is the best medicine, after all, and you sure look damn ridiculous.
The product photos show people wearing the Headtime Scalp Massager at work. Really, now, they expect people to bring this with them to the office? Neither pricing nor availability have been listed.